Life Had Other Plans

I've been pretty down lately. From time to time I take inventory of my life and play the if I coulda, woulda, shoulda game. It's a game that I never win by the way.

I think back and try to pin-point the exact moment when I went off the grid and missed the turn or misread the sign.

Maybe it was the time in 2007, when I packed up everything and headed to California, with no money and no job to pursue a life long dream of working in the Entertainment Industry.

Or maybe it was second time in 2010, when I quit the job in had in Nevada and moved back to California with no money and no job because I didn't think I stayed long enough the first time and the dream was still alive.

I'd come this far, I couldn't go back and failure was not an option.

Fast forward six years and I am no closer now, than I was then, geography aside. I still have yet to get my first job in the Industry.

Where I am vs. where I wanted be? I'm waaaaay off target. This not how I planned it. Not. At. All.

What went wrong? In the movies the girl always gets the guy. The underdog always comes out on top; but this isn't a movie. This is my life and I am not where I expected to be. Not by a long shot. No way. No how.

I had it all planned. Well sort of. Okay, so I didn't work out all of the details, but I know this wasn't on the original blueprint. Or was it? While I was making plans and dotting my i's and crossing my t's, life was making other plans.

Plans that had I been privy to, I might have stayed where I was and never took that leap of faith. Because looking back, faith was all that I had. It's still all that I have. 

 My undying belief that yes, this too shall pass. Sooner or later, things will have to go my way. In spite of all the set-backs, heartbreaks and missteps, I'm still here. I haven't given up yet. I don't know how the story will end. So for now, I'm waiting for the sequel. 

After all, this is Hollywood.